USA: The Great Polluter

When we think of pollution, we tend to focus on industrial byproducts, toxic waste and automobile emissions, but take a look at this recent study of the top ten most overweight countries in the world and see if you notice a common theme. While the United States ranks third, (I thought for sure we'd take top honors in a landslide), the cause of each country's obesity problem is us, the good old USA. We have not only polluted the sky, the ocean and the land, but our food industry has polluted the dietary habits of the entire globe. Happy reading.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/25/the-worlds-10-fattest-cou_n_371382.html

Drink of the Year Nominee: Brooklyn Brewery Post Road Pumpkin Ale

Back in college it didn’t really matter what my beer tasted like as long as it was cold and cheap. In those days I had to sell my plasma to the local dialysis center just to make enough scratch for a case of Beast. Thankfully those days are gone and my palate has evolved to appreciate beers that cost more than $4.99 a case. This is especially true for seasonal ales.

I’m a sucker for Pumpkin beer, and when I say I’m a sucker, I mean that every time I order one I feel duped. No pumpkin beer I have ever ordered actually tasted like pumpkin. Some have come close. All have failed. When I take a sip of a pumpkin beer I expect it to taste like Thanksgiving in my mouth. I want to feel the Macy’s parade marching over my tongue. I want to swish around a bag of dead leaves. But, as is it is with most things in my life, I am always disappointed.

Then last week at Mafiazo’s in Nashville, our waiter suggested a pumpkin ale they had on tap called Post Road. It’s made by Brooklyn Brewery. I was skeptical after having been burned so many times before, but I gave it shot anyway and was glad I did.

To all you wannabe seasonal brews out there, you’re on notice. This beer gets it right. If you are going to call yourself a pumpkin ale, you damn well better taste like pumpkin. This one does. Post Road is crisp, spicy and assaults your senses with pumpkiny goodness. Its amber tones and Autumn aroma bubble with complex flavors and a nice, full body. No other seasonal ale I have ever sampled so accurately captures the essence of Fall in liquid form. Plus, at 5% alcohol, Post Road also packs a nice punch. I highly recommend you try Post Road before it's gone until next year. If you can get it on draft somewhere, even better. But be warned. These suds are so savory that you might not know when to cut yourself off. Make sure you have a designated driver, (or at least take the back roads home to avoid any dirty coppers.)

So thank you, Brooklyn Brewery, for restoring my faith in pumpkin beer. Between you and Michelob's Winter's Bourbon Cask Ale, it is going to be an intoxicating holiday season.

Pranksgiving

Spending all day with your family on Thanksgiving is a total snooze fest. Why not spice things up by playing a devilish prank or two? Here are some holiday classics that are sure to make your Thanksgiving a little more exciting.

The Tomahawk. Come to dinner dressed in full Native American garb, complete with loin cloth, feather head dress and wooden spear. Demand that your family call you Chief Awesome, then spit in the mashed potatoes.


Fashion Bowl. Secretly swipe the remote control from your drunken uncles and wait until the biggest play of the football game. Just as the ball is snapped, flip over to Project Runway on Bravo.

The Toast. Tap your glass letting the table know you would like to make a toast. When the room gets quiet, raise your drink and say, “Here’s to butts, nuts and sloppy wet cunts.”

The PETA Prank. Just as your dad begins carving into the turkey, call him a bird murderer and throw a bowl of brown gravy on him.

The Critic. At dessert, ask who made the pumpkin pie. When that person responds, say, “it’s delicious...if you enjoy the taste of shit in your mouth.”

I hope these fun Thanksgiving pranks make your holiday one to remember.

L.A. Oil

Found this yesterday on HuffPo. I lived in LA for eight years and had no idea it was the third largest producer of oil in the United States. Check it out.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/18/secret-oil-rigs-in-los-an_n_362153.html

Food For Thought

20 Days Veggie

It’s been 20 days since I last ate meat, and to be honest, I don’t really miss it. I thought by now I would have had some serious cravings for a bacon cheeseburger or a chicken burrito, but surprisingly I have not. In fact it’s been kind of effortless. Going sans meat these last three weeks wasn’t something I planned. It’s not like I laid down a challenge to myself or anything, at least, not at first. After 10 days of unintentional vegetarianism, I decided to see if I could keep it up. Lately meat has not been a major part of my diet, so eliminating it entirely has been easy. I’ve found that for every carnivorous choice, there is a decent vegetarian option – except for buffalo wings. It’s hard to wrap tofu around a chicken leg.

I’m not sure how long this veggie stretch will last. I did rent Food, Inc yesterday and am planning to watch it this evening, so what could have been a temporary bout of vegetarianism might go the distance. I do know it’s going to take one special, juicy, succulent, flavorful piece of meat to break me. I'm not going to just give up my cherry to a Whopper. Of course, next week presents an enormous obstacle, Thanksgiving. If I stick to the sweet potatoes and stuffing, I should be all right. Plus if I don't eat the turkey, i won't get sleepy and i can raid the left over pumpkin pie while everyone else is passed out on the couch.

Thanks, McDonalds

McDonald's gave away its first $1 Million Dollar Monopoly prize yesterday to a woman right here in Nashville. After finishing a deep fried processed chicken patty and sucking down the last drop of her super-sized, high fructose corn syrup-laced sweet tea, she peeled off two game pieces from the side of her cup. One was Boardwalk. The other, Park Place. Ding. Ding. Ding! Instant millionaire. Yay, McDonalds! You’re so generous. You’re not just making our bodies fat, you’re making our wallets fat too. Way to go! (That's called sarcasm, folks.)

During an interview, the near 200-pound winner said she comes to McDonalds at least once a week and has been playing the Monopoly game since it began many years ago. Good thing she won, because after wolfing down that garbage every week, her medical expenses are going to be through the roof. I have a question for you, winner. Is having diabetes, high blood pressure, clogged arteries, liver damage, heart disease, obesity and possibly cancer worth a million dollars? The only reward I want after finishing a meal is being able to walk away from the table without suffering a stroke. I have to commend McDonald’s for its brilliant slight of hand. After all, waiving a million dollars in front of someone’s face is a great way to divert them from what they are putting into their mouths.